The holidays are coming.....during this politically charged year...oh boy. Holidays have become bittersweet for most, especially those battling mental illness. Anxiety, Stress, Depression, Grief, loneliness, obsession and guilt cycles over eating and weight gain are all common sidekicks to the holidays. I won't sugarcoat the fact that the holiday season can be as difficult as it can be delightful. I can however give a few tips to help you get through them.
Remember to Stay in the Present
I know. Remaining in the present easier said than done. Remember though, each holiday is ruly just another day. It will go as quickly as it came and soon it will be a new year. Start looking toward that New Year instead of focusing on what you miss, what you want, or do / do not have during the holidays.
Remember that you only see certain people rarely. Congratulate yourself for creating the type of life that you have and congratulate yourself for being smart enough to know that you needed to limit your time with whomever is annoying you at that time.
Take time to truly taste your favorite slice of Cake. Savor the goodness of your favorite dish. Admire holiday decorations. Play with the family dog. Truly take in tastes, smells and sounds that you enjoy.
Step Away
If things become too tense at any moment. Remember, you can always politely step away.
Lover's Trap
If you have someone, Be appreciative. If not, remember, there are millions of single people in the world. That is certainly not a negative reflection of you.
Oftentimes we envy the lives of others without remembering that all situations have struggles. Nothing is perfect, no matter how it looks.
Mindfulness
Meditate. Meditate. Meditate. Start your day with some form of meditation . If you draw, take a sketch pad with you on your holiday travels. Essential oils relax and soothe. They are now available in necklaces, watches and bracelets. Keeping one with you and taking time out to meditate throughout the holiday gatherings works wonders.
Triggers
Whether people, places, or things.....this is not the time to confront your fears and issues. If it is avoidable then try and steer clear. Grief is unavoidable. One has to deal with it one way or the other. Unpleasant people or places….are avoidable. Choose your battles, some are simply not worth your mental health. If the trigger is a family member and you feel obligated due to age, illness, etc, place a time limit on the encounter. Having a plan is truly half the battle.
Plan Ahead
Don't wait until the last minute to prepare food, decorations, shop, etc. The rush exposes you to traffic, scarce products, long lines and timing hurdles. Go ahead buy and prep your dish(es).
Holiday Grief
Let yourself feel what you need to feel. Sounds counterproductive doesn't it? It isn't. What you do not want is to try and stuff the emotion and it floods out all at once, or in the wrong way (I.e. over indulging in the gin). Allow yourself grieve but do not isolate. Allow someone that you trust console you, even if consoling just means sitting alone in silence.
Calm Down
The holidays may not be so bad. You may actually enjoy the holiday. Take a deep breath and try not to expect the worst.
Finally, Be kind to yourself, Enjoy the things Unique to You, Be grateful for your blessings and Take it One Day at a Time.
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